Robot Wars
by Izzia
Summary: Reno has got through to the quarterfinals of Robot Wars. When he is told the location of his fiercest opponent he can’t help but use his Turk ways to eliminate the competition.
1. Chapter 1

_Authors note: There's a character in this who was introduced in the first fanfiction story I wrote: FF7: Indigo Children called Jasper. His relationship to Reno is explained here without you needing to read Indigo Children if you don't want to._

_(Some bad language in here, sorry, that Reno's got a mouth like a sewer)_

(STORY 2)

**Robot Wars**

1

Metalitron

Reno had finally cleared up the layers of encrusted dirt that had slowly been building up in his flat; he had forgotten that the carpet was a beige colour. He had forgotten he had a carpet at all, under that junk that had been there for so long. He didn't tidy up because he was sick of the mess or odd smell that hung in the air, oh no, he had a much better reason to clear it all up. He had got through to the quarter-finals in _Robot Wars_ and up until now he had been able to use Rude's garage to tinker with 'Metalitron', his winning robot. Rude had finally thrown poor little Metalitron out into the wide world after almost a year living beside his lawn mower and motorbike. Reno did not have a garage and for the first few days was distraught at what to do about the robot. He had even called up Barret; since the beefy black man was already looking after his eight year old son, Jasper, he thought he may as well ask if he could keep an eye on Metalitron for a week or so until he thought of something better. All he got as a reply was a string of obscenities.

Once he had cleared the living room he was glad to see that it could house his battle-'bot perfectly.

It was a warm Sunday late mid morning and for once he was out of bed, kneeling on the floor on an old sheet with the innards of Metalitron spread out around the room, waiting to be tweaked and re-tuned ready to be put back inside the thick metal casing with a skull-and-crossbows painted onto it, courtesy of Elena. She was a pretty good artist for a Turk.

"I still don't understand why it needs to be a skull Reno, can't it be something _attractive_!" She had whined; but finally she shut up and painted the damn thing, so Reno couldn't complain.

He wore his faded black jeans that were a little too long in the leg and dragged on the floor as the redhead walked, his top was a white sleeveless vest-top that was neither tight nor particularly loose against his toned body. It was all stained in grease, oil and other more mysterious substances that Reno would rather not guess as to what they were. He nearly didn't hear his PHS ring over his music being played at full volume as he tinkered with the rotating blade mechanism. He turned the volume down and sighed, answering it

"Hullo?" He held the phone between his shoulder and ear to keep his hands free to fumble with the mechanism as he spoke.

"Reno! Where in hell are you, ya fuckwit?" Came Barret's voice down the phone, Reno furrowed his brow and put the mechanism down, taking the PHS in his hand.

"At home…Why?"

"You're s'posed to be taking Jasper out today!" He yelled down the phone.

"Shit. I forgot." He was supposed to see his son once every two weeks because the goody-two shoes AVALANCHE members thought a father should have contact with his son, even if the father in question was the least suitable person for parenting ever. He had seen him the Sunday before last for the first time outside of a mission and today was meant to be the next father-son bonding day. They hadn't really hit it off as father and son yet, Reno didn't understand the minds of kids and Jasper, like most people, didn't understand the mind of Reno.

"I dunno what he wants to do, I took him to the pub last time and he didn't seem to enjoy it much. Are you sure I really need to see him?" He moaned, he was having too much fun with Metalitron, 'Why can't kids be like robots?' he asked himself as Barret swore down the phone at him about his responsibilities and to wear a condom next time he was with a woman if he didn't want to look after his own kid.

"Yeah, yeah Barret. It's just that I'm really busy right now." He stood up; arching his stiff back and sauntered over to the open plan kitchen area.

"Doin' what?" Reno sighed as he took a cold beer out from his fridge; Barret really wasn't going to let him off.

"Robot Wars quarter-final preparations if you must know."

"Robot Wars! That's fine, robots are kids toys anyway, kids like robots, he can help you." Reno almost choked on his beer; he swallowed and replied in a strained voice

"It's a bit more complicated than kids play Barret, there's sharp things and stuff." Yeah, that sounded good, Barret would surely object to a kid being near sharp things.

"I can drop him off at your place now." With that he hung up, leaving Reno open mouthed in disbelief and annoyance.

True to his word there was a knock at his door ten minutes later, Reno sighed and stood, going over to the door and opening it. Barret almost pushed the small boy in and barely said a hello.

"I'll pick him up at around eight. Cook him dinner would ya? See ya later Jasper!" From the scowl on his sons face he could tell that he wanted to be there as much as Reno wanted him to be, which was not a lot. The boy had red hair with hints of brown within it, his eyes were the same blue-green as his fathers and those twin red curved lines near the eye and cheek bone were prominent against the boys pale skin.

"Alright twirp?" Reno asked as he closed the door, Jasper shrugged and walked behind his father as he returned to Metalitron.

"I was good until I came here." He dumped his little rucksack down and collapsed into the blue sofa that Reno had pushed back to make room for the robot.

"Well that's funny, I was about to say the exact same thing. Great minds think alike." Reno smirked, sitting cross-legged in front of the robots carcass and picking up the rotating blade mechanism again.

"Watch TV or something, I'm busy." He threw the boy the remote control that was next to him and turned his attention back to the robot. Jasper caught the remote and turned the TV onto kids channels, which Reno didn't mind, he spent most of his time flicking between kids TV, porn, and the game show channel whenever _Takeshi's Castle_ was on, which was most of the time.

"What are you doin' that for anyway?" Jasper asked with a little contempt in his voice. Reno shrugged

"It's fun. I've got hold of a mini chainsaw blade that I'm thinking of attaching." He grinned gleefully, Jasper rolled his eyes.

"You know; my friend Toko's older brother is in the quarter-finals of Robot Wars." He muttered, eyes now fixed on the TV; Reno snapped his head up in interest. OK, so kids weren't totally useless.

"Really? What's his robot called?" Jasper narrowed his eyes in thought

"Um, Battle Bitch or something.." Reno nodded; that was the team who he was most concerned about, they were good, too good. He licked his lips and lodged the information in the back of his mind so he could think up a plan if necessary.

The rest of the day was spent in much the same way, Reno and Jasper tried to ignore one another as much as possible. Reno couldn't help but ask a few key questions regarding 'Battle Bitch' as the plan in his head matured throughout the course of the day. Jasper watched the single DVD Reno owned that was rated below 18 and Reno managed to attach the rotating blade and it's mechanism to the Robot and had already started to improve the electronics and motor connections.

"Reno, I'm hungry and Barett will be back in an hour and a half. What's for dinner?" Reno looked up, a little stunned, his sweaty face had streaks of oil across it and his hair was even more dishevelled than usual.

"Er…Pizza?" Jasper shrugged. He didn't think Reno ate anything other than pizza, they had had pizza last time. Reno painfully got to his feet, stretching out his cramped muscles as he searched under all the metal parts scattered everywhere for his phone.

Pisa Pizza's was on speed dial, so he got through quickly, by now he was a well known customer so the guy on the other end of the phone gave him a free bottle of coke with the order.

"It'll be here in no more than twenty minutes. Hey kid, can you time it? If they are a minute late we get a free voucher." Jasper rolled his eyes and muttered some annoyed words under his breath. Reno was more than displeased when the pizza came in nineteen minutes; he paid up and took the hot boxes through to the kitchen table.

"Twirp: in here, I don't want cheese glooping all over Metalitron." He searched his cupboards for a cup, but found none clean so took two bowls and poured cola into them, giving one to Jasper who sat opposite to him. Jasper shot his father a despairing look and drunk awkwardly from the bowl, unable to stop some pouring down his chin.

Barret came fifteen minutes late, Jasper rushed out to the big man, hugging him tightly, Reno lit up a cigarette using his blow torch before going over to the door, he ruffled Jasper's hair and false-smiled down to his son.

"See ya twirp. Thanks for the info on Battle Bitch." He said through his cigarette before closing the door and returning to his robot. Jasper had told him exactly where 'Battle Bitch' was, and as much as he pretended to hate screwing over his son's friend's brother; he had planned a meeting with Battle Bitch that involved some heavy duty Turk-acquired ammunition.

A week passed by and the Friday before the big contest came quickly. He had worked full time on it, missing a day off work on Thursday to ensure he had it completed in time. On Thursday evening he had persuaded Rude to come with him to the allotment shed where Battle Bitch was being kept. He had swiped a small timed bomb from the weapons department and brought some handy wire cutters with him as well, to ensure the job was done properly. He cut the main electronics to pieces before tying the bomb to the insides of the brightly painted robot that had a massive axe hanging at its side. He salvaged the axe and timed the bomb to go off in fifteen minutes, a broad grin on his face the entire time.

"That's what you get for thinking you can beat a Turk at a war." Rude raised a brow at his friend's childishness, but he was also a Turk, blowing stuff up gave him a buzz.

They watched the shed go up in a huge ball of fire from Reno's car, the glow of the fire illuminating the allotments around it.

"It's so beautiful" Reno sniffed in a joke-emotional tone. Rude even took his dark shades off for a moment to admire their work. The redheaded Turk quickly started up the engine of his car and sped off before people started to look out their windows to see where the loud bang came from.

To Be Continued…

Authors note:

(Some followers of a certain UK sitcom that aired on Channel 4 a few years back may see a few similarities between this and the episode named METTLE. So some of these ideas belong to the god that is Simon Pegg (and of course the lovely Jessica Stevenson). I also thought that Reno belonged to Spaced more than FF7, so I made my dream come true, yay!)

_Please review if you read it. Cheers! _


	2. Torture

(Authors note: to all readers who haven't heard; the misunderstanding i was involved in with Inguz and his friends has been resolved now; he found out who was really leaving him bitchy flames and most of the people who wrongly accused me of this and retorted via flaming my work have apologised to me. )

2

Torture

It was ten to five and as it was a Friday, he was allowed to leave half an hour early from work, not officially, but he always had taken the last half hour off on a Friday. Reno was not one to break a long running tradition.

"Hey, 'Lena. Wanna come check out my little toy?" He asked, sitting on her desk as she tried to finish off the week's paperwork.

She grimaced slightly and shook her head

"I've seen it before. I didn't want to see it then and I _certainly _don't want to see it again." She quickly bent back down over her paperwork checking the boxes on the form, her cheeks turning a little red. Reno shook his head with a grin, sitting back down on the desk leisurely.

"Nah, My robot, I've upgraded her." She rolled her eyes and sighed, slapping Reno's lower back to get him to get off her desk so she could get to a file he was sitting on.

"Oh, c'mon 'Lena." He whined pleadingly.

Elena finally looked up to him, her brown eyes steady, fixed and annoyed.

"Look Reno, you have a kid son who will probably be way more impressed than I would be. Go show him." Reno's grin fizzled out at the mention of Jasper; he didn't like people at work mentioning him, for two reasons. One, it may ruin his reputation as being young, free and single. Two; Turks couldn't get attached to anyone without risking that persons life; he had pissed off plenty of violent people. As much as Reno didn't want to face up to being a father, he didn't want his son kidnapped and killed as a form of revenge to the many people he had screwed over before. Although he tried his hardest to pretend he didn't care for his son, there was some kind of paternal instinct in him that made him want his son to stay alive.

"I kinda blew up his best friend's brother's robot yesterday, so I doubt he'll ever talk to me again." He winced. Elena gave him a cold look, shaking her head.

"Reno, you're a jerk." The grin reappeared and he thanked her for the compliment. He remained in her office until she finally flipped out and agreed to see Metalitron.

He whisked her out of the office and to his car before she had even collected her coat from her locker, driving her back to his house. She asked him why Rude wasn't coming when she finally stopped glaring at the redhead angrily for dragging her away from work early.

"Because Rude saw it yesterday." He said as he pulled up in his parking space outside his flat. She came up with him, trying not to comment on how horrible his flat was looking despite the fact he had tidied it recently. He didn't let her remain for long, instead he led her downstairs with the veiled robot in his arms like a little baby. When they got back out to the large car park area he set the robot down and whipped the veil off singing 'Ta-Da!"

"Very pretty. It looks exactly the same as it did when you got me to paint that skull on it though." Reno had clipped the remote control unit to his belt where his electro -mag rod would usually be, he unclipped it and pulled up the antenna, flicking switches and buttons. The robot kicked into life, the LED's on the front blinking and the rotating blade spinning wildly. That morning he had attached the axe that he salvaged from 'Battle Bitch' as an extra touch, making him three hours late for work. He flicked a switch and the axe dropped down onto a crate that some kids had left out to use as a skateboard ramp. The crate shattered to pieces under the weight making Reno cackle with glee.

"Oh, you're such a child." She muttered, her eyes narrowed and arms folded. The battle-'bot spun around a few times and rolled on it's wheels to the blonde headed female Turk, making her yelp as it gently came to a stop at her feet.

"Yap! Yap!" Reno barked like a dog as an impersonation of Metalitron. He wheeled it around the car park for another ten minutes while Elena got increasingly bored. He did however try and get Elena to pretend to be Phillipa Forester, the sexy female presenter who enticed all the male competitors. She had played along for a while, running her hands suggestively along the body of the robot, unfastening the top buttons of her shirt to reveal cleavage, thrusting her chest out and batting her eyelashes at him. It all ended suddenly when Reno pressed himself against her trying to stick his tongue down her throat, breathlessly muttering "Oh Phillipa! Phillipa! Fuck me! Fuck me hard!" Once he had calmed down and remembered that Elena wasn't actually Phillipa he went back to parading the robot up and down the car park, leaving Elena quite fazed by having her red haired friend leap on her like that. Her buttons were all refastened and her tie re-tied straight and neat.

Reno's PHS suddenly rang out; he answered it with that wide grin on his face.

"Hullo….Oh, hey twirp….Wha'? I have no idea who could have blown up 'Battle Bitch'….Nope. Not me… Shit…WHAT? No shit! Ok….I'm sorry kid. Bye." Elena shot him a curious look, he manoeuvred the robot over to her, following it with a glum expression, sitting down next to her on the curb.

"Jasper knows it was me…bloody Indigo Child!" Elena put a comforting hand on his shoulder, he looked pretty annoyed, 'It serves him right though!' Elena thought to herself, 'fancy blowing up your son's friend's robot!'

"The worst part…the robot was owned by Jasper's friend's brother and a group of his friends. The one who funded it all is one of the Team B Turks…" He muttered. Reno, Rude and Elena were not the only Turks, they informally split the Turks into three groups, A, B and C. They were in group A and rarely worked with any from any other teams, as they targeted different sorts of 'projects'. But a Turk was still a Turk, the rule was, don't screw with a Turk, even if you're a Turk.

He glanced at Metalitron fearfully, smoothing her casing lovingly

"It's okay baby, I won't let them get to you. Shh….it's going to be ok. I'm not usually so foreword, but maybe you should spend the night by my side baby…what d'you say?" He asked the robot in a silky voice that made Elena raise her brow. He paused as if he were listening to the robot speak back to him.

"You will? I'll give you the best night of your life baby-doll." Elena played punched his arm, chuckling in despair for her friends sanity.

"You need mental help Reno, you really do…" She looked at him intently as he stared down at the robot, She knew Reno well enough by now, she knew he was scared. "Reno, you're right to be scared, you've gone and done what's never supposed to be done. You've got on the wrong side of a Turk. Be careful in the next few days yeah?" She said quietly and seriously. He chuckled and looked back at her

"I'm always getting on the wrong side of you, and you're a Turk…"

"Well…yeah…you've been lucky so far with me." She smiled, tucking a few strands of blonde hair behind her ear. He put an arm around her, hugging her to him for a second.

"You love me really 'Lena." He let his arm drop down again, his gaze returning to the robot.

Elena left him and the robot be and went home soon after. Reno took his robot back up to his flat, double locking the door and wedging a chair against the handle to be extra safe. As long as he and Metalitron stayed in one piece before the contest, it was fine. The evening was spent watching old taped episodes of Robot Wars in order for him to complete his battle plan. The evening grew late and the Turk drifted into sleep sprawled out on the sofa in just his boxer shorts with the tape paused at a shot of Phillipa that revealed a small amount of her cleavage.

He woke to a kick to the ribs, winding him, panic surged through him; where was his electro-mag rod? He felt himself being pulled up and thrown back down heavily into a corner before he fully opened his eyes. Three tough looking guys were standing over him while a blue suited man wrapped rope around Reno's body. It was the Turk who had owned 'Battle Bitch', he was called Luc.

"Well, well, well. Reno. I always much admired you and your work. You were one of the reasons I joined the Turks." He smiled, standing straight and adding in a much colder tone of voice; "All that changed the day you decided to screw with my robot."

He was holding a gun in his hands, caressing the smooth, cold metal with that smirk on his face and glint in his eye that told Reno he was in trouble.

"Shit Luc, you're not gunna kill me over some fucking robot are you?" the rope had been tied so tight that he couldn't even move a little.

"Oh, I don't know yet. We'll see." He turned to Reno's robot, sitting on the kitchen work surface shining and proud. Reno shook his head "No! No! Leave Metalitron out of this!" Luc picked the robot up and carried it over to Reno, setting it down in front of him and pulling a samurai sword out from a bag near his feet. He slowly unsheathed the weapon with a gleeful expression on his face, throwing the sheath to the side, he grabbed the handle and plunged the sword into Metalistron's body; the edge was sharp enough for the resistance to be slight. Reno winced, feeling her pain. This was torture. He plunged that sword into her body over and over again, each time more painful to Reno than the last. Finally he stopped, leaning down and taking the outer casing off. The insides were not as badly hurt as Reno had suspected, but there was still little chance of fixing her before the contest tomorrow. The chance of her being fixed was considerably reduced when Luc exchanged the sword for Reno's blowtorch, turning it on and approaching the redhead as if he were about to use it on Reno as a torture device. Sweat slinked down Reno's face; suddenly he was hoping the robot was the one to feel the torch, not him. His sigh of relief was tainted as the flame tore apart his beautiful battle 'bot, melting her insides. The next torture device was a wire cutter, then his gun. Reno was glad that Luc did not resort to explosives as he had done though.

Luc looked at Reno hard and cold as if he was seriously considering killing him. He picked up his bag and walked towards the open front door, pausing

"Do what you want to him, just don't kill him." Luc instructed to his three 'friends' before leaving. Reno suppressed a yelp as one of the three took a pair of Reno's pliers from the floor and approached him with a glint in his eye.

It was the day after the big contest and Elena was home alone, bored, she sighed and picked up a framed photograph of herself, Reno and Tseng from ages ago. She lovingly caressed the glass where Tseng's image was. Her eyes moved on from him to the image of Reno, sticking his tongue out like the moron he is. She sighed; it had to be the tall, dark, handsome one that died didn't it? She looked at Reno's picture for a minute or so, deciding actually, Reno wasn't bad looking at all, and ok, he was immature, but he was one of her best friends. She stood up, grabbing the keys from the sideboard and leaving.

She arrived at Reno's flat five minutes later, going straight up. She was glad she brought her gun because there was definitely something wrong; his door wasn't properly closed. He was a Turk; he always closed his front door. She cocked and locked it, her back pressed up against the wall as she edged towards the door. In one swift movement she flung herself through the door, pointing her gun out in readiness to line up with any target. But there was no target. She saw Reno and her stomach jolted. He was unconscious, tied up with large cuts and bruises all over his half dressed body; his robot was mutilated on the floor in front of him. She placed her gun on the side and went over to his battered form, gently untying the ropes.

He groaned and opened his eyes, looking back at Elena as she removed the rope. Where the rope had been tightly tied dark rope shapes were impressed upon his skin. He felt terrible and could barely move. He'd been there for over twenty-four hours.

"Shit Reno! All this for a dumb robot?" He whimpered at the mention of the robot and shakily got to his feet, Elena had to steady him as his muscles started to work again, she lead him to his bedroom, letting him crawl under the covers. She sat next to him, her legs outstretched on the bed and arms crossed.

"Are you ok Reno?" She dared to ask after five minutes of him saying nothing at all, not even a 'thank you.' He groaned again and adjusted his position in the bed so he was facing her.

"It was horrible Elena. Horrible." She smoothed his partially blood soaked hair as an attempt to comfort him.

"She was so young." He whimpered again. Elena sighed angrily and retracted her hand from smoothing his hair, glowering at him.

"Reno, are you talking about what they did to your robot?" He nodded.

"For Gaia's sake Reno! I meant are _you _ok. You've got cuts and bruises everywhere, some nasty looking burns, dried blood in your hair and over these harsh gashes, and all you can think about is a pile of metal!"

"You're a girl, you wouldn't understand. She was more than metal to me…" She shook her head and stood up, he was clearly ok. He looked up to her, looking more serious.

"Elena…Thanks. I thought I'd be there much longer… I mean it. I'm fine, really. I've been tortured worse." She clicked her tongue, grateful for his gratitude and seriousness for once. He partially sat up, that cheeky grin back on his face that told Elena he was really fine.

"But, there is something you could do to make me happier…" She narrowed her eyes in suspicion asking what in an impatient tone.

"You were so good at being Phillipa, be her again for me _please!_" She scowled at him and refused. "But you're so good at it. It gets a bit weird when Rude does it. And I didn't get to compete in the quarter-finals, I need cheering up!" Elena pushed what he said about Rude playing Phillipa out of her head for fear of causing insanity and stormed out, slamming his bedroom door as she went. She couldn't leave the mutilated Metalitron there for him to have to painfully clear away though, so cleared it all away and put the parts into a cardboard box she found in his utility room, not wanting to throw it out in case any of the parts could be salvaged.

Once this was done she picked up her gun and left.

The End

_(I'll post the next story 'The Bunny Club' up when I can be bothered.) _


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